FOR CHARACTER
creating schools and communities of character
November/December, 2004
An electronic newsletter to help make sure character counts!
Gary Smit
CHARACTER COUNTS! and the Six Pillars of Character are service marks of the CHARACTER COUNTS! Coalition, a project of the Josephson Institute of Ethics. For more information about training opportunities and resources available to assist schools and communities in the integration of a character education initiative, check out their web site at: www.charactercounts.org or call them at 1-800-711-2670.
· It’s All About Character in Sports
· Developing Citizenship Competencies from Kindergarten through Grade 12
· Kids and Society- Minding Their Manners
· The Four L’s of Building Adolescent Identity
· Commentary by Michael Josephson
TAKE A MINUTE FOR CHARACTER – Gary Smit
I missed it. Traveling in Europe during the middle two weeks of October meant that I did not have the opportunity to watch the major league baseball playoffs. Except for the occasional International Herald Tribune or the infrequent visits to a cybercafé, I missed not only the games but also what happened following the end of the first round of the National League playoffs. When the Cardinals defeated the Dodgers on Oct. 10, members of the two teams shook hands in the middle of the field before the celebration by Cardinal players began.
The post game handshake has long been a welcome custom in organized sports for young athletes. Our son, who played four years of college baseball, always participated in the end of game ritual of lining up to shake the hand of opposing players. Somehow professional baseball never adopted such a practice.
In my mind, that’s too bad. Baseball, like the rest of life, could use more moments like what occurred after the Cardinal-Dodgers series was over. After all, one team wins, the other loses, but when both teams play hard and fair, each deserves a show of respect and sportsmanship from the other. The Josephson Institute calls this “Pursuing Victory With Honor.”
On my return from Europe, I was looking forward to the World Series. Of course, we know that the four game series failed to live up to any one’s expectation as baseball at its competitive best. Maybe, I just thought, we would see the players lining up after the Red Sox claimed victory to congratulate each other for a grueling season that led to the two best teams playing for the title of World Series champion. That did not happen. And in some small way, I was disappointed for an opportunity missed to send a powerful message about competition and the respect earned for playing the game the way it was meant to be. With all the posturing about sportsmanship and not showing up the opposition, nothing seems more fundamental than shaking hands after a hard-fought game or series.
My disappointment grew when I heard what major league baseball had to say about the act of sportsmanship shown by the Dodgers and Cardinals. “I don’t like it,” said Bob Watson, who is the vice-president for on-field operations. “The game I grew up in would not permit that,” Watson stated. This unwritten policy is reinforced by some of baseball’s greats, including Hall of Fame pitcher Nolan Ryan, who said, “That’s not my nature to get beaten and walk over there and hug those guys.”
I’m not advocating a hug. Except at last night’s Chicago Bears again, I noticed as I was leaving Soldier Field, a number of Bears and Forty-Niners were gathered in the middle of the field, kneeling on the ground and even holding hands as they said a brief prayer. And afterwards, there were hugs exchanged around the field.
I find it unfortunate that baseball seems determined to fumble a chance to promote some sportsmanship in the game. Baseball doesn’t need a rule requiring that the players get all cuddly after a game. But it can encourage teams to adopt a simple yet powerful sign of goodwill. You see, athletes set an example for fans. A handshake after a game sets a great example for our children and young athletes. To me, that alone is enough of a reason.
Gary Smit
While I’m speaking about sportsmanship, there is an excellent resource you need to consider if you are part of a school’s athletic program. Or, you may want to pass this information on to your school’s athletic director.
It’s All About Characterâ in Sports
This is a cost and time efficient one-day workshop bringing athletes and coaches together as a “working team.” Each “working team” will return with a Specific Plan Of Action for building Sportsmanship, Ethics and Integrity in their respective teams.
Program Highlights
Ø A blueprint for implementing Sportsmanship, Ethics and Integrity in your program like nothing you’ve ever seen before
Ø The ten pillars of character you must know that will drive your program towards excellence
Ø A no-fluff, just answers approach to dealing with the “what if” situations that arise on teams
Ø Why you should worry more about the pop quizzes versus the final exams in sports
Ø How to use the newspaper test in reaching decisions both on and off the field
Ø How to apply the S.P.O.R.T.S. model to the running of your program
Ø The importance of everyone working from the T.E.A.M. model for creating athletes of exceptional character
Ø “The Six Critical Questions” everyone must know right now for handling any problem that comes up on your team
Ø The secrets for getting your parents to support and promote these concepts both on and off the playing surface as well as in and out of season
Ø How to “Be The Model” even when others might not want to follow
Ø The specific steps to running your own pre-season meet the team night.
If you would like more information about this program, contact Dr. Mike Thomson at http://www.drmikethomson.com/ or call him at 800-290-2482
·
EMOTIONAL TIES TO SCHOOL VITAL TO SUCCESS
There's a growing body of evidence that building emotional connections between
young people and their schools improves their commitment to education and
increases their ability to resist risky behavior. Robert Blum and the Wingspread
Group -- 20 national education and health leaders he and the U.S. Centers for
Disease Control and Prevention convened this summer at the Johnson Foundation's
Wingspread Conference Center in Racine, Wis. -- recently issued a statement
urging national action to combat the "culture of detachment" in American
schools. They cited research showing that 40 percent to 60 percent of all
students -- urban, suburban and rural -- are "chronically disengaged" from
school. And these numbers don't include kids who actually drop out of school.
"We have a culture of detachment in our nation's schools," said Blum.
"Essentially, we're telling kids they're on their own, and while many of them
succeed, many don't. This is not acceptable."
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/opinion/2002034444_raspberry14.html
·
SOMETIMES A LITTLE HARDSHIP IS WHAT YOUR CHILD NEEDS
The parents of today seem to be out of ideas about how to deal with what a
recent article calls pint-sized "wanting machines." Parents don't want conflict
or to disappoint their children. So they give in, writes Ruben Navarrette Jr.
part of being a parent is setting limits to consumption and teaching children
the value of a dollar. The mistake that so many parents make today is not that
they're too strict, but rather too lenient. It's not that they demand too much
from their kids but that they expect too little. Too many parents are failing to
strike a balance between providing for their children and teaching them
self-reliance, responsibility and a work ethic. The result is a whole generation
that, experts fear, has been conditioned to see expensive things and a
comfortable life as entitlements -- to their detriment.
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/opinion/2002036616_navarrette16b.html
Increasingly, it seems, the gray hairs that parents once got from fretting over
why Johnny can't read are now just as likely to sprout from anxiety about why he
can't behave, writes Sonja Steptoe. The concern helps account for a surge in
enrollment in children's etiquette classes and is transforming the moribund
manners trade. "I've been in this business for over 40 years, and I've never
seen anything like the current hunger for this information," says Dorothea
Johnson, who runs the Protocol School of Washington in the nation's capital. In
the past three years, she says, the number of people signing up for her
children's classes has quadrupled. But unlike the mini-finishing-school lessons
of yore that dwelt on cutlery and curtsies, the curriculum nowadays stresses
social skills and common courtesy. Honaker coaches kids on the proper way to
greet adults ("Give me a firm handshake, look me in the eye, smile and say
something nice") and quizzes them on how to be considerate ("Look. I just
dropped my bag. Should you just keep walking or stop and help me pick it up?").
Such instruction is essential, say experts, for a generation raised on Bart
Simpson and Britney Spears. While not prescribing the classes, noted
psychologist John Gottman in his book Raising an Emotionally Intelligent
Child: The Heart of Parenting encourages such "emotion coaching" because,
his research shows, children who learn socially appropriate ways to solve
problems and handle life's upsets are physically healthier and more attentive,
have more empathy and more friends, and perform better in school.
THE FOUR LS OF BUILDING ADOLESCENT IDENTITY
By Maurice J. Elias and Keli Bryan, Rutgers University Eva N. Patrikakou and Roger P. Weissberg, University of Illinois at Chicago
Teachers can collaborate with parents, using a common set of tools that teach teens the skills and attitudes needed for constructive roles in schools, families, workplaces, and communities. These tools can be summarized under four headings: the four ls of love and caring, laughter, limits, and linkages.
Teachers need to communicate their caring clearly to adolescents. When teens feel that teachers do not care, their learning suffers, and problem behaviors become likely. Yet when they feel cared for at school, they feel supported in their efforts to learn and grow. As a teacher, how can you convey caring to your teenage students?
· Think about how you show caring in the classroom and how you make sure your goodwill is getting through.
· Give formal, written feedback to teens and parents to show appreciation of social and emotional development.
· Recognize everyday acts of social and emotional competence by groups and individual students.
· Praise students at milestone events like awards ceremonies, and share your praise with parents.
· Motivate parents to participate actively in parent–teacher interactions, and give them materials to support their children’s academic goals.
· Advocate professional development focused on improving the social and emotional well-being of adolescents.
· Be sensitive to signs of difficulty in students’ lives, and refer them to appropriate caregivers before crises arise.
Laughter is indispensable for coping with the frustrating behaviors that adolescents demonstrate in the process of finding themselves. A humorous attitude can be a more sensible—and less distracting—response than criticism to manifestations of the teenage search for identity. If you are able to keep your sense of humor when confronted with upsetting behavior, you will be better able to maintain productive relationships with teenagers. How can you use laughter to help support your students’ learning?
· When confronting classroom behavior that upsets you, try to “lighten up” by responding to it with smiles and loving humor.
· Make clear that the classroom is not a “laughter-free zone,” and show teens how to distinguish between occasions for humor and occasions for seriousness.
· Discuss your students’ behavior with other teachers to help you see the lighter side.
Educators should remember that limits are less about restrictions than about finding focus and setting directions. When teachers help teens establish goals and solve problems, they instill skills that are more important than discipline. These skills build teens’ ability to make good decisions and to act in their best interests. How can you help your students learn to set and maintain limits on their own?
· Communicate clearly your expectations for classroom limits like raising hands before speaking.
· Place less emphasis on disciplinary infractions while stressing classroom and school rules, such as meeting homework deadlines, that have positive effects for teens.
· When problems that disrupt classroom learning arise, initiate constructive dialogue outside of class time about solving problems and setting goals. Work toward consensus on appropriate future action instead of “laying down the law.”
· Maintain regular contact with parents, so that you can collaborate with them on specific problems with keeping limits before emergencies develop.
· Work closely with administrators on establishing limit-setting strategies, including student involvement in making school and classroom rules, that foster teens’ ability to regulate their own behavior.
Teenagers need to develop their talents, make contributions to the community, gain a sense of belonging, and build life skills. Teachers need to help teens make healthy connections beyond the school. Opportunities for social action can instill confidence and guide adolescents toward socially responsible adult lives in which they can make a difference. When teachers link them with these opportunities, most teenagers respond positively. How can you provide your students with linkages to the larger community?
· Devote some class time to discussing the rewards of helping people.
· Encourage students to participate in school-based opportunities for community service.
· Advocate student participation in linkages that bridge ethnic and cultural differences, such as helping new families of different ethnic groups adapt to the community.
· Publicize students’ contributions so parents can gain a better understanding of the interests and competencies of their teenagers.
With coordinated, consistent adult support, adolescents’ strong emotions and explorations of identity will neither hold them back nor misdirect them. When young adult students are supported with love and laughter, they can learn to set limits and make linkages that will help them turn their aspirations into fulfilling adult accomplishments.
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